The Musings

 You don't care for me anymore. It is only work, which entices you. I hate watching English movies. I don't understand an iota of it. You like alcohol and, what if am not a social drinker. Don't I have my personal choice. Sometimes I wish, if could smoke, I would have done it over your face. May be I could have absolved all my sins, in that mushy cloud of smoke.

Ohh God, you want me to clean up all the dishes, maintain  the house and, to keep a sober face, in front of your parents. Sometimes, I think of you as a scum, and, if you are worth of it or not. I just hate you from the core of my heart. You know I want to say it over your face, but just that fragile personality of yours, which is yearning for love, shakes my resolutions. Someday am gonna leave you, then take your dishes to your mom and and that stupid sis of yours. They will do all that for you "Mama's Boy".

Have you ever thought, that how much I want to fight with you, but that silence Ohhh man, "The Great Silence". Do you think that, you are one of siblings of Gandhi ? Non-Violence - my @$$. He never got Nobel and now people are saying, that he was a racist. You are not even sexist, and you will get a Nobel prize for that tiny Rs. 30000 job. How can someone be so unsuccessful in life, I know you can manage it. You are good at managing unsuccessful things.

That stupid mom of yours wants me to make her a grand-mom. Do you have any dumbest thought in your mind that what will happen to me ? It takes a lot to achieve this figure. I have sacrificed Chocolates, Cakes and even Golgappas. Just one go and everything is over. No one bother to give a second look at your face, as you and I both know that, you are just okay. Also, what about the stupid 9 month pain ?

I was just thinking that Big Boss is so much full of losers. That @$$ Banti Chor was kicked out of the show, I wish if you would have been there, he at-least would have remained there for another episode. Ahhh it makes me think of Salman, Come-on, don't be jealous of him, he is manly enough and speaks his mind, what if he was not successful in his relationships, he looks so HOT.

Am feeling sleepy and see you are sleeping again, and that is why I hate you so much. You just don't want to even argue and prove me wrong.

Whatever am sleeping and I JUST LOVE YOU, ignore it, I don't know why I said it.

P.S. -  This has originated from a male mind, inspiration has been various whining sessions with male and female colleagues/friends, who are enjoying the silence of marriage. :-p

Image Courtesy : http://www.femtalks.com/relationship-marriage/how-to-calm-an-angry-wife/attachment/img_8/

Not Anymore

 

 And finally she said "Please don't call me anymore". Words stuck like a spike. So "NO MORE", indeed no more. A heavy burden accumulated over the time finds an instant release. The enormous Diasporas with the sacrilege meaning brought to an evident, but an abrupt end. It does not only bring a sense of relief but also numbness.

You wish now just if you could have anticipated it. It was there just hour-glass was missing. The instant gratification now will be remorse. You could have avoided it as you think that you are scrupulous enough for the deity. Many days have passed and still thoughts are wet with the sorrow that brings autumn rain. The profound joy which knows of your existence, still entices, but they always say "How long?" and the answer is "Not anymore".

A dark side exist within each of us, the failure to admit it, is not an acquittal. How long can you tryst with your words? One day words will surely fall back, and then you will just be succumbed to the abyss of thoughts, which will occult the venom inside you.

You remember when it rained, and she danced like no one is watching her. The drops over her eyes cast the shadows even beneath the sun. There was a minuscule auburn drop ready to fall off from her nose tip, you wish if you had been there to catch it. Even you could have identified the moist eyes, irrespective of the rain but "Not Anymore".

There was a sound close to the door, and the floor creaked. There was freshness in the air and that aroma of her was still there. You never told her about the silkiness of that thread around her neck. You were even afraid to touch it, they were jasmine or the lavender. It never occurred to you, that the lavender, does not exist anymore.

You remembered the dust trails which she left over your mind. You hear those echoes of laughter on the silliest and dumbest jokes. The adorableness for everything. She painstakingly listened to all the things accumulated in the mind and eventually she retorted to "NOT ANYMORE".

Will I live or die? OR I will live to die? "Not Anymore".

image courtesy : http://www.razorcd.com/?page_id=26

मैं संत नहीं

 

सोचने का अंत नहीं, इसलिए तो बंद है.
मन कपाल, फूटते नहीं, इसलिए तो मंद है.
जो मन समझ सका तो क्या ? वोह तन को पसंद नहीं.
हार हार, हर बार, कही इसलिए तो मंद नहीं ?

युद्ध का अनाद है, यह, शिखर पे बसा नहीं,
पातळ समेटे हुए, विदुर बना ना कही.
समंद समेटे सका, इसलिए तो बंद नहीं ?
हार हार, हर बार, कही इसलिए तो मंद नहीं ?

जो ना पुछा, वोह कहा, जो ना कहा, वोह ना रुका,
द्वन्द्ध में फंसे हुए, ढेरो धुंध है कही,
अंत निकट आ गया, इसलिए तो बंद नहीं ?
हार हार, हर बार, कही इसलिए तो मंद नहीं ?

मस्त राग अलापते, नींद में है खो गए,
स्वप्न दिस्वपन बनें, खो गए है कही,
मन निरंकार नहीं, अब अंत निकट है कही,
हार हार, हर बार, अब अंत है तो, है सही.
अंत है तो, है सही.

चाह नहीं मन की, अंत तो है, हो गया.
कम नहीं, रण सही, अब तो ख़तम हो गया.
अभिलाषा तो पूर्ण हुई, सताओ और मुझको नहीं,
हार हार, हर बार,  क्यूंकि मैं संत नहीं,
क्यूंकि मैं संत नहीं.

Image Courtesy : http://swapnilnayakphotography.wordpress.com/2009/05/

Chronicles of the Narnia

Watch out the video : Customer Complaint and then go to the Link . If you were able to do this, Kudos (Jujitsu) to you as Kudos sound like JUDO, now read the gibberish below.

For those who can't see the video or don't want to read through the link, just an outline: Video is about a guy whose expensive guitar was mishandled during a flight of United Airlines. This guy tried to get compensation from United Airlines for almost 8 months, but he was never heard. Eventually he decided to pull a 3 series musical video praising United Airlines and Airline came back to him with apologies and offered a compensation.

Service providers need continuous more "Inceptions" like above, perhaps this will motivate them to resolve things quickly, am glad that this guy invested his time in this "Paranormal Activity", otherwise most of the complaints just have no "Impetus". This reminded me an issue with "A" mobile service provider, I paid the bill but somehow the bank transaction went to "The Dark Knight", and as it always happens, that "The Money" was deducted from my account. Within a short span I had multiple calls from "The Million Dollar Baby" that "Why you have not paid the bill". To each of the "12 Angry Men", different divisions of "A" I had to explain that this is all what has happened. They asked me "To Kill A Mocking Bird" by Faxing the receipt, I did, they asked me to say "You Have Got A Mail", I did. Similar kind of "Zillion" things from multiple "Dogs of The Reservoir". I asked them, that, don't you have a consolidated case number, so that I don't have to start from zero to explain the entire thing, every-time to different "PSYCHOS" of your organization. Absolute lack of "Tryst" amongst different group of "A". After an "Armageddon" of days and multiple gist of calls, they were able to track "The Joker of Dark Knight" (transaction). I demanded an "Apology" and waiver in bill for the inconvenience caused to my "Beautiful Mind". Eventually I gained some useless local minutes (None of my GF's were local) and I said "Life is Beautiful".

This gave a paradigm shift to my thought, as "Back to the Future" someone said "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind". If they screw you, in-turn you can ask them to "Find Nemo" in "The Shutter Island". One of my close friend was having continuous issues with network and I encouraged her, in fact dared her like Arindam do to IIM's ,that I bet you can't get money back from those cellular company guys. Just to prove her ability to take on "The Lion King" she called "A" and went "Into the Wild" for 4 hours. She was not aware that she is just being a helpless "Avataar" of Abhimanyu lost in Chakravyuh. Ohhh come-on losers, she does not "LOST" it though she succeeded in getting a cash back on her bill. Respect: "Jhansi ki Rani", you need to teach normal people how to fight for their rights in the "Fight Club" otherwise "There will be Blood".

I was quite happy with my "Tryst's" till I met "A Few Good Men" who lived in "No Country for Old Men". They had a persistent issue with the cellular service provided and these guys were capable of convincing the cellular morons almost "Any Given Sunday" for a waiver in their bills. These guys were the real "Desperado".

Epilogue : Finishing off the post as I am just being "A Manchurian Candidate" I request all of you to "Redeem the Shawshank".

Rakhi-Brother

Nice topic ? Let's see. 

So I was in school  and as always in every story, there are girls so there were a few. Used to have lots of interaction with one of them. Had a huge crush on her, and one fine day she says with a stride of pride to other girls "Ashish is just like my younger brother". Can't tell how stung I was and almost on the verge of tears. Of-course it was one of those first crush who crushed me, but what the hell, is brother the only thing left in this universe? So the time was for a policy that "dude you are not supposed to make sis anywhere, just avoid it and run away from it".

There is a funny pledge which we recite at school; it has a line "All Indians are my brothers and sisters". Man whom you are going to marry? Someone not from India? We changed this line and tuned it to "All Indians are my brothers and YOUR sisters”:-P.

One fine day I was conversing with a junior of mine and she said about a particular guy that he is "Rakhi-Brother". Okay so you guys are not bonded by that thick blood lineage but there were similarities between you or you adored each other and were so much emotionally bonded that you thought to give the relationship a name. Kool, nothing bad about it. Appreciate your feelings and wish you a nice future.

This Rakhi-Brother was a rage when I was a student and I believe it is still a rage which came to my knowledge when I was talking to one of my cousin studying in 10th class (mentioned in the earlier blog).

An incident to share, there were Rakhi Bro-Sis in my school had a very congenial relationship and everyone thought about them as bro-sis. Now they are living happily as a married couple. So what was it?  I will not pass any judgment on this. Friendship/Bro-Sis/Love should be distinguishable. Friendship more or less can transform into love but Bro-Sis can not. Guys please don't be confused and if by any chance you are, please don't get into Rakhi relationship.

 

When my younger brother was in school and I realized that he is grown up, I thought to have conversation with him about the relationships. I put it boldly "Boss never make a sis in school". He asked me why ? I said this is the purest form of relationship and just for the rogue you should not do it, when you are not capable enough to carry the relationship for long-term. Also, once you are into this, there is a no way out. You have to carry this relationship with utmost sincerity and forever. He got the point and remained very judicious, there are times when he is not stupid and this was at-least one of them.

This reminded me of another guy. This guy was a very decent, witty and humorous. I met him first time when I came to join my first job. For the time being I will refer him as Mr. "H". So Mr. H was in desperate need of sis, even though he had 4 sis at home. He had sis in every corner of the country and he will just not stop having sisters. I was like dude, is this some kind of Ashwamedh Yagya that every part of the territory where you place your feet must be surrounded by your sisters. At workplace also he developed a bro-sis relationship with a girl and it was looking like his winning stride will not stop at all. One fine day, I just told him "You moron, don't you understand the seriousness of this relationship and do you have any idea about your ability of carrying this relationship?" Bingo - He got it, and this was the quickest when one can get  a reason. This guy aborted his Yagya at that very moment and since then he is maintaining the same count of sisters, so standard deviation must have been zero over the past 4 years, sorry mate I know you are reading this but you were an inspiration.
Also we used to call these kinds of guys as "Jagat Bhaiyya" later we shortened it to "Jags".

I think every now and then you come across "Jags". Please don't be one.

I know about the historical incidents when Krishna came to rescue Draupadi, or when Rani Karnavati just asked Humayun to help him against the invasion of Bahadur Shah, these were not the Blood Relations but they exemplified how holy a relationship can be. Will close with high regards and respect for this relationship and an advice that take due care and diligence when you are tying a thread as it is not a mere thread but a life long promise.

Anyways they say :

“A gentle heart is tied with an easy thread.”

Image courtesy : http://www.fotosearch.com/photos-images/rakshabandhan.html

Teens!

Today is independence day of India. Am thinking what to post ? Lemme share a small anecdote with you.

Just like a month ago I made a trip to India. Took the only train between Delhi-Rewa and was sitting there quite peacefully. Front berth was occupied by a lady with her daughter. Lady was in mid-40's. Now I have got an acute habit of observing people so there I am pretending to read and observing them through corner of my eyes. So these are the facts which I collected after overhearing the conversations over lady's mobile. They were going for a marriage. The girl was the scholar of one of the prestigious boarding school at Gwalior. She was accompanying her mom to the marriage also, spending her summer vacations with family. All of a sudden there I see that the train took a halt and an arrow, out from nowhere, comes through the window and hits a Daddu kind of a person. When I look around, am at some High Valley amongst the mountains and there Daddu is lying in the pool of blood.

Ohh comeon guys was just messing with you to check if you are really reading this or not.

Anyways, so I kept on hearing the conversations while staring at my book. The lady was talking to her son, this guy is studying in Delhi and doing CA finals, I guess loads of work and night outs were hurting his mom, (That is how mothers are) so she was just asking him to take care of health and not to work hard. The conversation eventually went to the girl. Here the gentle mom was asking her son not to talk about "all this" to his sister as he may lose the respect of his sister if things comes out open. She was also emphasizing that she will take care and make her (the girl) understand. Also, that none of this was her fault it was all because of her some stupid friend who is into all this (why friends get blamed for every oddity as if the person in question is no-brainier). Now I was at-least able to understand the gist of the conversation. The girl who just moved into 10th standard perhaps was having affair with some guy. And that poor kid was caught by her parents.

 I have a cousin and she came to meet me during this vacation. Last when I saw her was like 3-4 years back. She moved to 10th standard and gosh she looks pretty and smart. I can clearly see the difference of her opinion on almost each and every thing which her parents tell her to do. I was just worried and afraid about her, so just spent time with her mostly listening to her and daily occurrence of issues which she faces. I came across the pressure about social stigmas these kids face.

Here onwards what I felt that there is HUGE generation gap. Right now this is generation Z+10th and evolving exponentially with respect to time. There are i-pods on the ears and fashion magazines in hand, those things which were like awed stuff during our time. So I was just thinking was it the girl's fault that she likes/loves someone ? She is just a kid and will go to someone who will shower her with emotions. At this time just I think that parents need to spend lots of time with their children. There are emotional needs of every child and when a child returns from a school or from a class he/she is sometimes excited,worried or in tears and, that child just needs to be heard by a patient ear. If YOU have not that patient ear you are losing him/her day by day, and you don't have the right of complaining, when someday your child surprises you by something clandestine. 

This may not be a reason always but I think that this is one of the primary reason.

There was a purpose when I was sharing this anecdote, is there an end ? Naah. Just I will like you to think and watch out for the troubled teens. If you think that there are any, just give sometime to them, try to understand their needs. Time has changed a lot and sometimes we really don't understand what is kool, what is not, OR what is Hap, and what is non-hap.

Just Keep an eye around and don't let teens be submerged, at-least Alice had a wonderland.

Signing Out! Ghost going for the sleep.

Image courtesy : http://www.corbisimages.com/Enlargement/42-16836626.html

The Body Shots

Few months back I got an invite for a regular office party. This party was in honor of a fellow colleague who was going to get married THIRD time to the same guy (Yes I meant thrice ). Please don't get confused, first was the Christian Wedding (in US), second was the Polish Wedding (in Poland) and third was going to be the Indian Wedding (in Bangalore).

Anyways the party started and slowly all were in deep alcoholism and things became cranky and loud.

All of a sudden a fellow lady asks me "Ash, have you ever taken Body Shots ?".

I said "I don't have any idea about them". 

She says "Oh..Really, lemme teach you". 

I was like okay it is something fun I should try it. Now she called bartender for the lemon wedges and tequila. Tequila I declined (Maa ko diya hua vaada...LOL) and I pulled up the glass of cranberry juice. She said this is what you will have to do (Am writing it point wise for the ignorant people like me to get a better understanding of body shot).

1.  Sprinkle salt over the Lady Neck.

2. Lick the salt from neck of the lady (WOW) and then take the drink in one shot.

3. Lady will hold the wedge of lime in her mouth. Take the lemon from Lips of Lady and suck. (The Lemon.....you pervert).

4. Some people who like close hugs can move forward from this point.

This cycle completes the so called body shot. Now being a novice at this I followed two steps diligently but for the third step I was just going to pull out the Lemon Wedge from her lips and she touched my lips with hers. I was taken aback, surprised at this and pulled myself off from this activity following the sense of official party.

As the party was in full blow, there comes another colleague of mine, who was quite interested in the HOT lady mentioned above. He started inquiring her about the body shots and so now they are experimenting in front of all colleagues. They had 5 Body Shots  and the last one was provoking for all of us with their lips locked and bodies held close. All laughing and partying (aroused) leave for the day.

Next day @office: 

The HOT lady is wearing a scarf around her neck, comes to my desk removing her scarf, and with a note of sexiness "Ash, see what has happened here" and I see a Red LOVE Bite over her neck (where continuously salt was sprinkled and licked) . 

I started laughing hysterically and said "So you are paid off for the desultory".

Her remark with a note of anxiety, fear and dilemma was, "My husband is gonna kill me, when he sees this", Another colleague aces her remark "Oh... he won't, if you are able to catch his LOVE Bites".

Leaving the post at this moment to let you imagine the expression over her face and will request to leave the comment that what expression you thought of.

Also for my alcohol lover friends : Wiki Body Shot