Saturday, August 14, 2010

Teens!



Today is independence day of India. Am thinking what to post ? Lemme share a small anecdote with you.

Just like a month ago I made a trip to India. Took the only train between Delhi-Rewa and was sitting there quite peacefully. Front berth was occupied by a lady with her daughter. Lady was in mid-40's. Now I have got an acute habit of observing people so there I am pretending to read and observing them through corner of my eyes. So these are the facts which I collected after overhearing the conversations over lady's mobile. They were going for a marriage. The girl was the scholar of one of the prestigious boarding school at Gwalior. She was accompanying her mom to the marriage also, spending her summer vacations with family. All of a sudden there I see that the train took a halt and an arrow, out from nowhere, comes through the window and hits a Daddu kind of a person. When I look around, am at some High Valley amongst the mountains and there Daddu is lying in the pool of blood.

Ohh comeon guys was just messing with you to check if you are really reading this or not.

Anyways, so I kept on hearing the conversations while staring at my book. The lady was talking to her son, this guy is studying in Delhi and doing CA finals, I guess loads of work and night outs were hurting his mom, (That is how mothers are) so she was just asking him to take care of health and not to work hard. The conversation eventually went to the girl. Here the gentle mom was asking her son not to talk about "all this" to his sister as he may lose the respect of his sister if things comes out open. She was also emphasizing that she will take care and make her (the girl) understand. Also, that none of this was her fault it was all because of her some stupid friend who is into all this (why friends get blamed for every oddity as if the person in question is no-brainier). Now I was at-least able to understand the gist of the conversation. The girl who just moved into 10th standard perhaps was having affair with some guy. And that poor kid was caught by her parents.

 I have a cousin and she came to meet me during this vacation. Last when I saw her was like 3-4 years back. She moved to 10th standard and gosh she looks pretty and smart. I can clearly see the difference of her opinion on almost each and every thing which her parents tell her to do. I was just worried and afraid about her, so just spent time with her mostly listening to her and daily occurrence of issues which she faces. I came across the pressure about social stigmas these kids face.

Here onwards what I felt that there is HUGE generation gap. Right now this is generation Z+10th and evolving exponentially with respect to time. There are i-pods on the ears and fashion magazines in hand, those things which were like awed stuff during our time. So I was just thinking was it the girl's fault that she likes/loves someone ? She is just a kid and will go to someone who will shower her with emotions. At this time just I think that parents need to spend lots of time with their children. There are emotional needs of every child and when a child returns from a school or from a class he/she is sometimes excited,worried or in tears and, that child just needs to be heard by a patient ear. If YOU have not that patient ear you are losing him/her day by day, and you don't have the right of complaining, when someday your child surprises you by something clandestine. 
This may not be a reason always but I think that this is one of the primary reason.

There was a purpose when I was sharing this anecdote, is there an end ? Naah. Just I will like you to think and watch out for the troubled teens. If you think that there are any, just give sometime to them, try to understand their needs. Time has changed a lot and sometimes we really don't understand what is kool, what is not, OR what is Hap, and what is non-hap.

Just Keep an eye around and don't let teens be submerged, at-least Alice had a wonderland.

Signing Out! Ghost going for the sleep.

Image courtesy : http://www.corbisimages.com/Enlargement/42-16836626.html

21 comments:

Himanshu Chauthiya said...

Good article....is this term Z+ coined by you, or already in use...?
M agree with u that today's parents need more connectivity with their wards...

U know y the small town kids feel more secure then the big city kids? its simply because in small towns parents pay more time more attention towards kids, then in large cities.

A good article indeed.

sleepingghost said...

Thanks Him, yes dude just coined it yesterday ;-). This article was provoked by what I saw. The behavior of my own siblings in the family. Already I have discussed this with their parents (my elders) that there should be constant communication between them and the so called "teens".

Richa Mishra said...

Liked the way you have expressed the thoughts....But do you really think that if parents will devote more time to their children,so they won't get into all these kind of mess which according to them is known as feelings of love/emotions?..or even some other thoughts/opinion which we don't expect from these youngsters?...Honestly I don't think so.. but yes I agree that parents are responsible to some extent.... :-)


Anyways it was good to read and know the psychology/mindset of today's generation a bit because u mostly share real experiences ...keep it up and keep posting ... ;-)

sleepingghost said...

@Richa : Thanks for reading it. Even time given by parents will not entirely eliminate this. But can be checked, also parents have to be tech savvy. They need to learn the new ways of this generation, usage of internet, cells and sms etc not to spy on their privacy but just to keep a check on their wards.

Amritash said...

yesterday i too was talkin to my cousin, clearly felt the effect of generation gap... but conditions can be different if parents are friends rather than..

RUPAK_REWA said...

What happened to me? Suddenly i tempted to praise this one,its not my type of response so dnt be overwhelmed ,but ought to say "is baar reraa khich diye ho :P"

sleepingghost said...

@Amritash : Boss I designated sometime for my cousins now. Just listening what is happening in their life, what are the confusions etc. Really there are things which just mesmerize me when I talk to them. World is different now.

@Rupesh : Reraa Max dude ;-), Thanks.

diksha said...

sumthing to really ponder over for parents. many times its really difficults for parents aswell to understand the needs of the teens coz things were different when they were teens themselves. nevertheless...parenting brings new challenges wid every new generation....like the ashoka chakra on indian flag...we need to progress...and not let our thoughts stagnate n bring sorry state for the teens n india at large.

sleepingghost said...

Thanks Diksha to ponder on the thoughts and I hope that you will start communicating with the teens who are in your family or may be you are already doing that ;-). Just keep an eye!

Jiten... said...

Such a grt thoughts Gurudev...every parents should remember their teenage..!!Want to read some article on our Indian Politics..keep it up..

sleepingghost said...

@Jitu : Thanks buddy, Indian politics is something where most of us will consider ourselves as a failure ;-), but perhaps I will write about it. Thanks for reading this and it will be nice if you implement the same thought as well.

Idrisha said...

Nice article Ashish :)
I agree to the fact that now-a-days parents are becoming very busy in making money or solving other issues in life rather than seeing their own children and hearing their issues. I still remember those days when I used to say almost each & everything that happened @ school after returning home & Mom used to hear that patiently :) i just hope I CAN DO THE SAME AND HELP A KID TO GET PASS THRU TEENAGE AND BECOME A RESPONSIBLE ADULT PERSON :)

neeti said...

Its really a nice article and I fully agree with you Ashish , as I had experienced this with my
brother who is 4 yrs younger to me. I really regret those days when he used
to ask me that "Neeti I need you" ...But I was so busy with own nitty gitty that I
could not understand what he used to mean by that, I wish I can do it now .. :-(

It was really good to read such a real instance and I am sure it will help many of our friends to take care if their kids in a better way.. :-)

sleepingghost said...

@Idrisha: Thanks Idrisha, so true, even I remember running to mom and telling the tales of the school just now what I see that there are times when no one is even @home when a kid returns.

@Neets: Thanks for reading this. This is a nice phase when many of my friends are becoming parents, perhaps they will have some resolution to provide that emotional support to their children. Lending an ear to things is a constant thing and requires lot of patience.

WideAwake said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
WideAwake said...

Excellent article I must say! 4000 years back an Egyptian pharaoh talked about generation gap while describing his son's behaviour. 10-15 years down the line, our cousins will make the same comment about our kids.

I don't think too much attention from parents can solve anything. Every adolescence is unique. Being in and out of a relationship is a part of growing up now. Parents, just let them grow but be there to catch when your child falls.

sleepingghost said...

@Wide : Well the idea behind this post is not to watch them a lot, it is just about listening and understanding them. Parents should not always solve the problems, the idea is just give time to your teens ;-)

WideAwake said...

Last Sunday I was fiddling with my cousin's mobile. I did not have any idea about what I would find. Her sms conversations challenged my understanding of the generation. After she left, I spoke to a friend of mine, tried to find out whether it’s the same with her sister who is about the same age. For a long time I could not decide whether it’s the new generation that is different or is it me who has become old.
I remembered about your post and it struck me how relevant you were.
At last I decided to speak to her.

sleepingghost said...

@Wide : Thanks and I really feel good, if this post has actually helped. Keep talking to'em. ;-)

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Please tell me it worked right? I dont want to sumit it again if i do not have to! Either the blog glitced out or i am an idiot, the second option doesnt surprise me lol. thanks for a great blog!

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