Thursday, June 10, 2010

Few months back I got an invite for a regular office party. This party was in honor of a fellow colleague who was going to get married THIRD time to the same guy (Yes I meant thrice ). Please don't get confused, first was the Christian Wedding (in US), second was the Polish Wedding (in Poland) and third was going to be the Indian Wedding (in Bangalore).
Anyways the party started and slowly all were in deep alcoholism and things became cranky and loud.

All of a sudden a fellow lady asks me "Ash, have you ever taken Body Shots ?".
I said "I don't have any idea about them"
She says "Oh..Really, lemme teach you"

I was like okay it is something fun I should try it. Now she called bartender for the lemon wedges and tequila. Tequila I declined (Maa ko diya hua vaada...LOL) and I pulled up the glass of cranberry juice. She said this is what you will have to do (Am writing it point wise for the ignorant people like me to get a better understanding of body shot).

1.  Sprinkle salt over the Lady Neck.
2. Lick the salt from neck of the lady (WOW) and then take the drink in one shot.
3. Lady will hold the wedge of lime in her mouth. Take the lemon from Lips of Lady and suck. (The pervert).
4. Some people who like close hugs can move forward from this point.

This cycle completes the so called body shot. Now being a novice at this I followed two steps diligently but for the third step I was just going to pull out the Lemon Wedge from her lips and she touched my lips with hers. I was taken aback, surprised at this and pulled myself off from this activity following the sense of official party.

As the party was in full blow, there comes another colleague of mine, who was quite interested in the HOT lady mentioned above. He started inquiring her about the body shots and so now they are experimenting in front of all colleagues. They had 5 Body Shots  and the last one was provoking for all of us with their lips locked and bodies held close. All laughing and partying (aroused) leave for the day.

Next day @office: 
The HOT lady is wearing a scarf around her neck, comes to my desk removing her scarf, and with a note of sexiness "Ash, see what has happened here" and I see a Red LOVE Bite over her neck (where continuously salt was sprinkled and licked) . 
I started laughing hysterically and said "So you are paid off for the desultory".
Her remark with a note of anxiety, fear and dilemma was, "My husband is gonna kill me, when he sees this", Another colleague aces her remark "Oh... he won't, if you are able to catch his LOVE Bites".

Leaving the post at this moment to let you imagine the expression over her face and will request to leave the comment that what expression you thought of.

Also for my alcohol lover friends : Wiki Body Shot


Bhanu said...

lolz....i would like to see your expressions ;)

Atom said...

Amazing control u have over urself ;)
That was a chance that u missed, i wouldn't do tat, if i were ...

teejay said...

Ch***ya sala ... faltu mein miss kar diya aisa chance !!!

teejay said...

Ch***ya sala ... faltu mein miss kar diya aisa chance !!!

soumya said...

Hope you are not regretting for having missed that chance.....:)

RP said...

Salted neck!! yakkk!!
Where can i find un-censored version of this story? ;-)

Richa Mishra said...

rofl....I wish I would have seen your expressions at that moment....but what a control......admirable!...hardly anyone would have missed such an opportunity...;-)

Capt. Jack Sparrow said...

pandey ji

peeceh ku hate yaar, merko is project me aana hai.aag laga diye total

SS/bond said...

itz a fantabulastic writing sir i appreciated it a lot.......and if it is not a fiction than i would say that
I HAVE A SYMPATHY FOR LADY ..and i remember the scene of "As Good As it Gets" when Jack Nicholson says that "women don't have accountability and the don't have reasons to do". the last part is very funny and kinda of eye opener for people


Good one dude ! When you tasted the lemon, was it sweet or sour?

What happened during that night after party?

Anonymous said...

Very Bad...why even u did two steps...?..,not at all appreciable..aapko detail sunkar hi mana kar dena tha...

Neha said...

i wish it wouldnt have been a office party for u :P

Idrisha said...

tu good boy kab se ban gaya???? ;)
ladki khud aagese approach kare aur ladka pichhe hate iska matlab daal me kuch kala hai bhaiiiiiiii ;)
kya baat hai Sirji luv shuv commitment k chakkar me pad gaye kyaaaaaa???? :)

Anurag said...

Hahahaha... I got it, what happened to you in third step... Point to be noted is the next day you were the first person she had shown the love bites...

sleepingghost said...

@Bhanu: arre artist aadmi hai hum.

@Atom: Abbe tujhe jaanta hu, main to second step tak gaya, tu pehli mein kalti kar leta ;-)

@Teejay : Jinke ghar sheeshe ke hote hai, woh doosre ke gharo mein paththar nahi fenkte.

@Soumya : Definitely am not missing it ;-)

@RP: Chirkut saale, bandar kya jaane adrak ka swaad.

@Richa: Buland bharat ki buland tasveer !

@Sparrow : Haath lagate na guru to bhasm ho jaate.

@Bond: Bhai ekdum sachchai hai. Meri eyes to uss din se close hi nahi hui hai.

@Akki: Who will remember the taste of lemon ? and I was driving back the guy mentioned in blog ;-).

@Anonymous : Main bhola bhala nadaan sa balak, usne mujhe behka diya tha, par samay rehte mujhe apni agyaanta ka ehsaas ho gaya.

@Neha: Amen, there is always next time.

@Idrisha: Tum bhi na pehchaan paai to ab kisse apeksha karu.

@Nands: lolz, now you are provoking me.

Harjeet S. Rakhra said...

Not taken tequilla: Ma ko diya hua Waada.
Not taken lemon frm lips: Saare EXes ko diya hua wada.

coming to the post, lot left undesired. Lotzz of promises left unfulfilled. Hope u know what I mean.

I wud rather suggest, give "Strategy Break" to Maa ka waada, and then re-write in again. U wud see the magic.
Try tequilla once, U wud find a need for a lemon and beleive me u wudhave sucked whole juice out of it... (Am I talking abt Lemon?? ... U Pervert-in-disguise-of-Saint)

teejay said...



sleepingghost said...

@Lovely & Tj : Someday I will rewrite the story of tainted saint ;-)

Nikkzz said...

OH Bouy!!!

R u serious abt that so called " ma ko diya waada". i suggest give it a shot and rearticulate the way it actually went.....

I am raher interested in your torn down emotions and the way u accepted to be a loser!!! LOLzzzz

chaiti said...

while going thru the story I tried hard to imagine your expression...but..:(
Ashu beta bara hogaya !