Friday, August 20, 2010


Nice topic ? Let's see. 
So I was in school  and as always in every story, there are girls so there were a few. Used to have lots of interaction with one of them. Had a huge crush on her, and one fine day she says with a stride of pride to other girls "Ashish is just like my younger brother". Can't tell how stung I was and almost on the verge of tears. Of-course it was one of those first crush who crushed me, but what the hell, is brother the only thing left in this universe? So the time was for a policy that "dude you are not supposed to make sis anywhere, just avoid it and run away from it".

There is a funny pledge which we recite at school; it has a line "All Indians are my brothers and sisters". Man whom you are going to marry? Someone not from India? We changed this line and tuned it to "All Indians are my brothers and YOUR sisters”:-P.

One fine day I was conversing with a junior of mine and she said about a particular guy that he is "Rakhi-Brother". Okay so you guys are not bonded by that thick blood lineage but there were similarities between you or you adored each other and were so much emotionally bonded that you thought to give the relationship a name. Kool, nothing bad about it. Appreciate your feelings and wish you a nice future.

This Rakhi-Brother was a rage when I was a student and I believe it is still a rage which came to my knowledge when I was talking to one of my cousin studying in 10th class (mentioned in the earlier blog).
An incident to share, there were Rakhi Bro-Sis in my school had a very congenial relationship and everyone thought about them as bro-sis. Now they are living happily as a married couple. So what was it?  I will not pass any judgment on this. Friendship/Bro-Sis/Love should be distinguishable. Friendship more or less can transform into love but Bro-Sis can not. Guys please don't be confused and if by any chance you are, please don't get into Rakhi relationship.
When my younger brother was in school and I realized that he is grown up, I thought to have conversation with him about the relationships. I put it boldly "Boss never make a sis in school". He asked me why ? I said this is the purest form of relationship and just for the rogue you should not do it, when you are not capable enough to carry the relationship for long-term. Also, once you are into this, there is a no way out. You have to carry this relationship with utmost sincerity and forever. He got the point and remained very judicious, there are times when he is not stupid and this was at-least one of them.

This reminded me of another guy. This guy was a very decent, witty and humorous. I met him first time when I came to join my first job. For the time being I will refer him as Mr. "H". So Mr. H was in desperate need of sis, even though he had 4 sis at home. He had sis in every corner of the country and he will just not stop having sisters. I was like dude, is this some kind of Ashwamedh Yagya that every part of the territory where you place your feet must be surrounded by your sisters. At workplace also he developed a bro-sis relationship with a girl and it was looking like his winning stride will not stop at all. One fine day, I just told him "You moron, don't you understand the seriousness of this relationship and do you have any idea about your ability of carrying this relationship?" Bingo - He got it, and this was the quickest when one can get  a reason. This guy aborted his Yagya at that very moment and since then he is maintaining the same count of sisters, so standard deviation must have been zero over the past 4 years, sorry mate I know you are reading this but you were an inspiration.
Also we used to call these kinds of guys as "Jagat Bhaiyya" later we shortened it to "Jags".
I think every now and then you come across "Jags". Please don't be one.

I know about the historical incidents when Krishna came to rescue Draupadi, or when Rani Karnavati just asked Humayun to help him against the invasion of Bahadur Shah, these were not the Blood Relations but they exemplified how holy a relationship can be. Will close with high regards and respect for this relationship and an advice that take due care and diligence when you are tying a thread as it is not a mere thread but a life long promise.

Anyways they say :
“A gentle heart is tied with an easy thread.”

Image courtesy :


Capt. Jack Sparrow said...

ha ha ha ha, reminds me of my school days and things we people do as kids, not necessarily understanding what the implications are.

Jiten... said...

Agreed wid Gurudev..its a very holy relation which needs more duties and responsbilities...So post this blogg to some Jags and some Jags Sis..keep it up Gurudev....Riste banana aasan hota hai..kintu ise nibhna utna hi muskil.....

WideAwake said...
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WideAwake said...

I remember the conversation that we had the other day. I have such brother whom I have never referred to as "Rakhi"-brother. The astonishing thing is the relationship did not develop during Rakhi, neither it did in infancy(I mean in school/college). We both know the love and trust that we share.

Anyways, coming back to your topic. I think this is only done in conservative societies. In India boys and girls grow up together but are not allowed to mix freely without a frown. So a bro-sis relationship is the easiest way out. It acts like camoufladge. Your parents know that girl is your sister, so no questions asked. You can answer the calls, share notes, chat, etc. without arousing much of your parents suspicion.

Remember your college days!! You are talking to a good friend and are often found hanging around with him. You face numerous queries from all your other friends. How many of you instead of saying "Mind your own business" or (more politely)"He is a good friend of mine" have said "He is just like my brother" or better still "He is my Rakhi-brother" :-) ?

Fortunately I am blessed with very liberal parents, who have accepted and allowed all my friends as my friends. So, in spite of being the only child I never felt the need of a Rakhi-brother.

I have more "pratikriya" on this. But if I start scribbling them all this will become my blog. lol.

P.S. As far as my knowledge of Mahabharat is concerned, Sri Krishna and Draupadi were friends and not brother-sister.

sleepingghost said...

@Captain : Tum "Jags" jaise lagte to nahi ;-)

@Jiten : Thanks Jitu, I have posted it specifically to one of the Jags ;-)

@Wide : Wow that was some serious thought. You can perhaps live without making any brothers am also from a conservative background but there was no requirement of as such. Speaking about Krishna and Druapadi, Krishna got a cut in his finger and it was Darupadi who treated the wound, so in turn Krishna was there during the vastra-haran episode (in background) providing her that infinite saree. It was not pronounced as bro-sis but marked in history as something like that. Do some Google ;-), and really appreciate the thought flow.

Amritash said...

Well thought on 'All indians.. n jagatbhaiya' concept.. ended perfectly.

Anonymous said...
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Richa Mishra said...

Nice thoughts indeed with good explanation and examples/incidents !!

This article really reminds of the school days,though even after passing school ,I have seen this kind of " Rakhi Brother-Sister " relationship,but very few,may be thats because of the understanding and maturity level of the grown ups ....and yes I agree with Wide's comments to some extent,at times children in school are kind of being forced to tie rakhi just to prove that they are simply best friends and like each other's company to spend good time together,but as per the society norms ,its very hard to accept that one guy and gal can be very close friends as well,and so they get into bro-sis relationships just to make sure that there's nothing going on between them.And I believe its not entirely their fault of not understanding the sacredness of Rakshbandhan and but I m sure that the timeless message that Raksha Bandhan conveys will remain for ever.

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