Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Not Anymore

 And finally she said "Please don't call me anymore". Words stuck like a spike. So "NO MORE", indeed no more. A heavy burden accumulated over the time finds an instant release. The enormous Diasporas with the sacrilege meaning brought to an evident, but an abrupt end. It does not only bring a sense of relief but also numbness.

You wish now just if you could have anticipated it. It was there just hour-glass was missing. The instant gratification now will be remorse. You could have avoided it as you think that you are scrupulous enough for the deity. Many days have passed and still thoughts are wet with the sorrow that brings autumn rain. The profound joy which knows of your existence, still entices, but they always say "How long?" and the answer is "Not anymore".

A dark side exist within each of us, the failure to admit it, is not an acquittal. How long can you tryst with your words? One day words will surely fall back, and then you will just be succumbed to the abyss of thoughts, which will occult the venom inside you.

You remember when it rained, and she danced like no one is watching her. The drops over her eyes cast the shadows even beneath the sun. There was a minuscule auburn drop ready to fall off from her nose tip, you wish if you had been there to catch it. Even you could have identified the moist eyes, irrespective of the rain but "Not Anymore".

There was a sound close to the door, and the floor creaked. There was freshness in the air and that aroma of her was still there. You never told her about the silkiness of that thread around her neck. You were even afraid to touch it, they were jasmine or the lavender. It never occurred to you, that the lavender, does not exist anymore.

You remembered the dust trails which she left over your mind. You hear those echoes of laughter on the silliest and dumbest jokes. The adorableness for everything. She painstakingly listened to all the things accumulated in the mind and eventually she retorted to "NOT ANYMORE".

Will I live or die? OR I will live to die? "Not Anymore".

image courtesy : http://www.razorcd.com/?page_id=26


Amritash said...

To me it is a post of ciphers! I m disappointed to see a blown-up candle, its like hope is lost; rekindle it. Words seem circling around a single object which was not meant to be a part of your tryst with destiny. Also, shaan ka 'aksar' song yaad aa rha hai. Ending 'not anymore' gives me a +ve feel. Exceptionally different then other posts of urs.

soumya said...

This is really touching I must say...

SS/bond said...

sirji you casted very well .....something which is used in hindi "Prakriti ka manviy karan kiya hai ". ek number hai

Anonymous said...

Lemme invoke bacchan...

जीवन में एक सितारा था
माना वह बेहद प्यारा था
वह डूब गया तो डूब गया
अंबर के आंगन को देखो
कितने इसके तारे टूटे
कितने इसके प्यारे छूटे
जो छूट गये फिर कहाँ मिले
पर बोलो टूटे तारों पर
कब अंबर शोक मनाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

जीवन में वह था एक कुसुम
थे उस पर नित्य निछावर तुम
वह सूख गया तो सूख गया
मधुबन की छाती को देखो
सूखी कितनी इसकी कलियाँ
मुरझाईं कितनी वल्लरियाँ
जो मुरझाईं फिर कहाँ खिली
पर बोलो सूखे फूलों पर
कब मधुबन शोर मचाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

जीवन में मधु का प्याला था
तुमने तन मन दे डाला था
वह टूट गया तो टूट गया
मदिरालय का आंगन देखो
कितने प्याले हिल जाते हैं
गिर मिट्टी में मिल जाते हैं
जो गिरते हैं कब उठते हैं
पर बोलो टूटे प्यालों पर
कब मदिरालय पछताता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

मृदु मिट्टी के बने हुए हैं
मधु घट फूटा ही करते हैं
लघु जीवन ले कर आए हैं
प्याले टूटा ही करते हैं
फिर भी मदिरालय के अन्दर
मधु के घट हैं मधु प्याले हैं
जो मादकता के मारे हैं
वे मधु लूटा ही करते हैं
वह कच्चा पीने वाला है
जिसकी ममता घट प्यालों पर
जो सच्चे मधु से जला हुआ
कब रोता है चिल्लाता है
जो बीत गई सो बात गई

Jiten... said...

Well done!!Gurudev..deeply touched to heart....U used such an awesome sentence "There was a sound close to the door, and the floor creaked...".."remembered the dust trails which she left over your mind.hear those echoes of laughter on the silliest and dumbest jokes..""Not Anymore"..Hum q Shiqwa kare Jhootha ...NEXT IS WHAT???

sleepingghost said...

@Amritash : This one was very experimental, also, I tried if the readers can relate to this post. There were lots of heavy words purposefully, wanted to make it a bit poetic. It will depend on the mind of the reader whether the last line was +ve or -ve. Thanks for reading though. Enjoy !

@Soumya : Jahenaseeb hamare !

@Bond : Thanks bond, iss baar rulane ki koshish thi.

@Anonymous : Arre malik I know "jo beet gai so baat gai" LOL

@Jitu : Am glad you liked it. Hope you were able to relate with this. :-P

Anonymous said...

its very touching since its very true. I guess i made someone feel the same when i uttered the first line of ur blog. but u know what its not very easy for the person uttering those words too. i'm not sure being a guy u'd understand that pain or not but yeah i went through that...

Anonymous said...

"You never told her about the silkiness of that thread around her neck.".Somehow i felt if I could go beyond the depth of this line.I can read this line for 100 more times.
This melodramatic fiction is completely surreal,beautifully crafted and so appealing to all the broken hearts and lovers. :)I would not rate it as "The Best" from you but yes it might be one of your unforgettable blogs ....

Anonymous said...

It was touching no doubt..like thoughts following in everything u do n later on all u have is to say..NO MORE..nothing now...execution is in a poetic form..nice!!



She is forever with you in thoughts though she is not anymore for you.If I were you, I will wait for that rain drop to reach her tender lips from the nose tip.
Anyways, perfect timing, as one of my friends joined DevD league today after 4 years of "Emosional Atyachar".

Good Work..Waiting for some more posts..

sleepingghost said...

@Anonymous1 : Truly understand that. Not easy for either of the side. The life moves on !

@Anonymous2: Thanks for rating this one so high. Looks like you were in love. LOL. Also, this is not melodrama :-P.

@Anonymous3: Thanks Dear !

@Akki : Ha ha ha, tender lips :-P. Awesome Dude. What else is remaining ? Give my digits to your friend and I will whip his @$$. Thanks for reading though.

Sumit said...

Really Beautiful!

Sir..I understand one thing exceptionally well that it's not everyone's cup of tea..to put to words the emotion that one may feel..doing the same is the trick of the trade..N in this blog U have indeed excelled the art! Kudos! Anyone..can for sure..relate oneself to the the hollowness that creeps in..at such a turn around in life..

Pl do keep on posting more..would love to read on some more vivid subject :)

sleepingghost said...

@Sumit : Hey Bud, those are really nice comments. If I have succeeded like an iota that people are able to relate, will consider the blog worth. Will keep posting new stuff. Again, thanks for reading !

WideAwake said...

I simply loved reading this. This is perhaps the most emotional post you ever wrote. Tell me something, did you experience this?

sleepingghost said...

@Wide : Thanks dear, yeah thought to give emotions also a try. Did it happened to me ? Perhaps :-P

Anonymous said...

Perhaps I could relate to it...but not anymore!

sumish said...

As like others..touching indeed!!!
Fascinating article!!!!

Parvinder said...

hmmm....Must say Dost...this post of urs is a Quantum Leap...as always, loved this one too.....Keep it up...Ghabra na...koi na koi ta mille;)