Cabinet Reshuffle – A Grand Circus

An ordinary man a Frustrated Indian, who does not know what Cabinet or State Minister is, must have seen the circus which was set up by Congress this Sunday. This was the final shuffling of the cards way before the Grand Game of Poker which is also known as Lok Sabha Elections 2014.

SleepingGhost is not an expert on Politics though he always tried to make it sound otherwise but looking at this political juggling, SleepingGhost started thinking like a politician who has to keep his party and people satisfied. A political outfit which has to show that they mean business and no one can hinder them from taking strong decisions. Yes that is what they must have been thinking during the reshuffle, must have been jubilant after it, that how easily they can screw the people and deviate their attention from corruption to nascent stages of politics.

I am definitely not the voice of India, but I think that I am frustrated enough to speak on behalf of other Frustrated Indians. When I saw this cabinet reshuffle I was sulk listening to Jan-Gan-Man and seeing the people who have not only tarnished themselves but us as well, yes “us as well”, these people are representing our mandate in Parliament and we are equally responsible for letting them rape us repeatedly.

The first one who caught my attention was Twitter Kroor (Shashi Tharoor), this person was out from the ministry for more than 2 Years on charges of benefitting his Girl Friend Sunanda Pushkar from stake in IPL Kochi Team. At that time Sunanda Pushkar was a mere girl friend but her solidarity to Twitter Kroor was later awarded with marriage (LOL). Personally I like Kroor, in a way he represents young India who rarely goes to vote but the charges against him were never dropped and may be Congress thought of those 2 years as a correctional vanwaas and brought him back.

The other person with (dis)abilities who caught not only my attention but even attention of people having IQ level equivalent to Arindam Chaudhury. The Great Balwaan Khurshid, he is definitely Balwan. Not only his blood boils but he has got accented English and is a fan of “18 Till I Die” from Bryan Adams. The reason he has been awarded an upgrade to ministry is that, he is a pure sycophant who will even die for Muniya Ji (Sonia Ji). Balwaan who is congested with corruption charges, has been spanked like a little kid by media, gets a promotion and surprises everyone. It also sends message that be a bootlicker loyalist and we will reward you for your deeds. I read a lot about him and Hina Rabbani on social networks and I have complete faith over information available in social network.

Speaking about Funn-ish Tewari (Manish) I truly respect him. He is the rightful choice to replace imbecility of Dogvijay Singh. It sounds funny and definitely it is funny, that he has been awarded Information and Broadcasting Ministry. I am running out of synonyms of word sycophant and to portray how good my vocabulary is I went to thesaurus and founded a word called “lackey” which can be eventually used for synonyms of attendant, butler etc. So now I have a word and expressing my right to speech I can boldly say that Funnish Tewari serves bed tea to Rahul Gandhi and that tea is the reason why Amul Kid is so retarded.

K. Rahman Khan replacement of Balwaan Khurshid, is a big name and representative of a minority. Since K. Rahman Khan is a BIG name I will just shorten it and call him KRK. Now do I need to say anything more? By the way if anyone does not know KRK, he/she needs to brush up his/her social networking skills.

I have heard that Chiranjeevi the Lungi Clad Mega Star has been awarded tourism ministry on recommendation of Pratibha Patil. Being a believer I always believe whatever people say to me. Even I have complete faith in Arindam Chaudhury but that is another topic which I will cover someday when I will discuss education for stupid youth in India.

An important ministry which was always in hands of RailGadi Didi has been given to Pawan Kumar Bansal, he looks like a media shy person, and I went to wiki, was not able to find much on him. May be he is skillfully clean or an undercover agent. But his surname reminds me of Bansal Classes which promises confirm birth in IIT. May be he is one of those Bansal who turned into politician after failing HSS exam.

Legacy politics is something which I understand and hope Sachin and Jyotiraditya understand too. Some media person was saying that Jyotiraditya inclusion is surprising because he has never participated in rally, debate or parliament. So what dude? Get your facts straight, the Blue Eyed Amul Kid of Indian Politics never participated in Parliament and is praised everywhere for his mental sharpness.

Moily has become oily and Reddy has been left Red faced. A definite move of Congress has been to award more to South than North. This reshuffle was to award the loyalists, to make a point that Congress is not afraid of any allegations unless proven, and to strengthen the Southern part of subcontinent. Everyone has observed that the states where Congress presence is weak are not participating in this reshuffle. This is a cold message to INC members, get us seats and we will reward you. If you cannot get us seats then atleast participate in the Mega Circus and prove with your blood that you are a dire loyalist.

PS – Amul Kid has not participated again in the government. How can he poise for PM when he is so afraid of getting his hands tainted? How long you are planning to call youself youth? When my Dad moved to his 40’s, he started calling me young. He gave me all of his funky shirts and moved to sober colors. Amul Kid, when you are moving?

Image Courtesy - http://ambrish-more.blogspot.in/2010/04/long-term-memory-loss.html 

Nitin Gadkari: The Hulk That Doesn't Smash

And we thought that a new BJP President will come to fill the biggest void created by ‘The Hulk’ (Gadkari) but so called hardliners like RSS always have their way in Country Politics. As always RSS pushed The Hulk’s name and BJP had to comply. Anyway BJP was short of options, as they have been from last 8 Years. Speaking about The Hulk, he is not a routine vociferous fellow who bashes everything which comes from opposition. He has a keen shrewdness and has been in politics since 1976, when we all were in our nappies. The Hulk was an early starter; at the age of 21 he started his political career from ABVP, which has recently lost elections in DU.

Once Hulk joined the main foray there was no turning back. He actively participated in all kinds of roles given to him with time, be it ABVP Secretary, Cabinet Minister in PWD or Presiding the BJP Maharashtra State unit at the age of 47. If you look closely at the career path of ‘The Hulk’ then you cannot dismiss the fact that he has been a climber. In spite of his size he moved forward in leadership. There must be something in him that compelled both BJP and RSS to make amendment to party’s constitution, and to reelect him as Party President.

Since The Hulk is already christened as President of diminishing BJP, his principal agenda should be, to spearhead the campaign against Congress. Pardon me if am wrong, as I am not that upbeat on politics, but I have not watched anyone being smashed by The Hulk. Blame it on his astuteness or inertia, but am not able to get the hidden agenda, or the meticulous plan, which Hulk has envisioned for upcoming Lok Sabha Elections.

Over the eight year period of Congress rule never, yes NEVER, BJP was able to oust Congress in anything. A nation which strives on issues, scams are true fodder for an opposition to disintegrate the ruling party. Speak about the CWG, 2G, Coalgate etc, in everything BJP has missed chances to uproot the current government. It clearly shows that there are gaps in higher leadership. I would have expected ‘The Hulk’ to actively participate in such uprooting, and to give a clear set of instruction to his party members. Leave about opposing the current Government ‘The Hulk’ has not even taken credit for the BJP governance. People don’t know the total number of states where BJP is ruling. Leave Gujrat state, everyone knows what Gujrat is, because of Charismatic personality of Modi and his active participation in media. Just for the sake of readers I will put it here, that BJP is ruling in six states and shares power in four other states.

The previous defeat in Lok Sabha can be blamed to Rajnath Singh and Lal Krishna Advani, but the 2014 defeat will be christened solely to ‘The Hulk’. Only once BJP has shown some true mettle, and that was when they disrupted the current monsoon session of the parliament because of coal-gate. Then also they were criticized both by pro BJP and non-BJP people for wastage of tax payer’s exchequer. Understanding the pulse and catching the nerve of people is what ‘Hulk’, and his party has to understand. Show some resilience and mark my words you will be back in the Game.

In my previous blog I have mentioned, that in 2008 polls it was not Congress win but lack of stability which pushed Congress back in the driving seat. Kejriwal has mentioned it multiple times that BJP is ‘B’ Team of Congress. Tell me Mr. Hulk if there is already an A Team then why people will go for B Team. People are desperately waiting for that time when BJP used to be the main opposition. 2014 is upfront and India desperately needs an opposition. Not only an opposition but a dignified opposition, that speaks sense, and corners the archaic Gandhian Government. Just wishing if only ‘The Hulk’ could muster all his anger and channelize it in to the dying veins of the organization called BJP.

And yes my wife just told me that 'The Hulk' sued Congress’s Alsatian (Digvijay Singh) for some remark of his. Well, that means he takes the Alsatian seriously. Sad.

ImageCourtesy - http://photo.outlookindia.com/images/gallery/20100410/nitin_gadkari_201004010.jpg

The Barbarians of Bribes

The largest nation of the subcontinent has got everything, be it religion, politicians, money, wrath, Frustrated Indians or Bribes. The nation which we swore to protect after 1947, runs with Bribes. Sometimes I think it is in our veins. Hereby, I am proposing some recommendations for both bribe takers, and givers on this auspicious day of Gandhi/Shastri Jayanti. Going forward this will help our nation to become a clean and honest state in terms of Bribes.

1. There should be a limit to upper and lower bounds of bribes : It becomes difficult for poor people to match up to the bribe of a rich person. There should be absolutely no discrimination based on richness/poorness of the briber.
2. The Bribes should be non-taxable and classified as white money : This will definitely help to move money back into circulation. As we know people hide their stash. They will at least come out in open and spend the cash for market growth. The non-taxable part is put across because; anyway someone has already paid the tax for bribe money. The Bribe is actually hard earned money, since people work day and night to earn it.
3. Honesty in Bribe : If a person takes bribe he should fulfill his/her promise. There should not be any cheating once a person has taken bribe. The Person has to honor whatever he/she has promised.

5. Bribes given to TTE’s/Policemen below sub-inspector level/Other lower level Government employees: These should fall under section 80-C of Income Tax i.e. bribes should be tax free for bribe giver. It should be noted that for the lowest possible salaries TTE's and Policemen are working and that is the reason bribe should be classified under charity
6. Government should create awards like Bribe Ratan, Bribe Shri etc for the people who have worked exemplary in the field of bribes.
7. Bribe Rules and Regulations should be made under supervision of Supreme Court of India: A committee can be postulated for this. Moreover these rules and regulations should be introduced in school syllabus so that nation’s legacy can be remembered and continued.
8. There should be reservation in bribes as well for SC/ST/OBC/Minorities/Female/Senior Citizen etc: A clear set of guidelines from a bench of Mayawati and Mulayam will definitely help people.
9. Anti-Bribe people should be sent to correctional facilities where only Bribe prevails. This will clear up their mind and will help their move to mainstream and realistic India.
10. There is no number 4 in the list and you did not even notice, because I was bribed to write only 9 points. 

More rules can be added to this post. Push the rules in your comments. Don’t forget that I am SleepingGhost and a Frustrated Indian. I am frustrated by choice and sleepy by nature. If you bribe me well, I may start writing under your name. 

And yeah finally - Gandhi Ji, if you are reading this, then you must know that we have got your picture on every currency of India. See we are trying to implement a system that would be transparent and absolutely honest.

Love you Gandhi Ji and Happy Gandhi/Shastri Day!

Image - Courtesy - http://business.rediff.com/report/2009/oct/22/bcrisis-india-inc-may-see-8-salary-hike-in-10-survey.htm