The Musings

 You don't care for me anymore. It is only work, which entices you. I hate watching English movies. I don't understand an iota of it. You like alcohol and, what if am not a social drinker. Don't I have my personal choice. Sometimes I wish, if could smoke, I would have done it over your face. May be I could have absolved all my sins, in that mushy cloud of smoke.

Ohh God, you want me to clean up all the dishes, maintain  the house and, to keep a sober face, in front of your parents. Sometimes, I think of you as a scum, and, if you are worth of it or not. I just hate you from the core of my heart. You know I want to say it over your face, but just that fragile personality of yours, which is yearning for love, shakes my resolutions. Someday am gonna leave you, then take your dishes to your mom and and that stupid sis of yours. They will do all that for you "Mama's Boy".

Have you ever thought, that how much I want to fight with you, but that silence Ohhh man, "The Great Silence". Do you think that, you are one of siblings of Gandhi ? Non-Violence - my @$$. He never got Nobel and now people are saying, that he was a racist. You are not even sexist, and you will get a Nobel prize for that tiny Rs. 30000 job. How can someone be so unsuccessful in life, I know you can manage it. You are good at managing unsuccessful things.

That stupid mom of yours wants me to make her a grand-mom. Do you have any dumbest thought in your mind that what will happen to me ? It takes a lot to achieve this figure. I have sacrificed Chocolates, Cakes and even Golgappas. Just one go and everything is over. No one bother to give a second look at your face, as you and I both know that, you are just okay. Also, what about the stupid 9 month pain ?

I was just thinking that Big Boss is so much full of losers. That @$$ Banti Chor was kicked out of the show, I wish if you would have been there, he at-least would have remained there for another episode. Ahhh it makes me think of Salman, Come-on, don't be jealous of him, he is manly enough and speaks his mind, what if he was not successful in his relationships, he looks so HOT.

Am feeling sleepy and see you are sleeping again, and that is why I hate you so much. You just don't want to even argue and prove me wrong.

Whatever am sleeping and I JUST LOVE YOU, ignore it, I don't know why I said it.

P.S. -  This has originated from a male mind, inspiration has been various whining sessions with male and female colleagues/friends, who are enjoying the silence of marriage. :-p

Image Courtesy : http://www.femtalks.com/relationship-marriage/how-to-calm-an-angry-wife/attachment/img_8/

The Body Shots

Few months back I got an invite for a regular office party. This party was in honor of a fellow colleague who was going to get married THIRD time to the same guy (Yes I meant thrice ). Please don't get confused, first was the Christian Wedding (in US), second was the Polish Wedding (in Poland) and third was going to be the Indian Wedding (in Bangalore).

Anyways the party started and slowly all were in deep alcoholism and things became cranky and loud.

All of a sudden a fellow lady asks me "Ash, have you ever taken Body Shots ?".

I said "I don't have any idea about them". 

She says "Oh..Really, lemme teach you". 

I was like okay it is something fun I should try it. Now she called bartender for the lemon wedges and tequila. Tequila I declined (Maa ko diya hua vaada...LOL) and I pulled up the glass of cranberry juice. She said this is what you will have to do (Am writing it point wise for the ignorant people like me to get a better understanding of body shot).

1.  Sprinkle salt over the Lady Neck.

2. Lick the salt from neck of the lady (WOW) and then take the drink in one shot.

3. Lady will hold the wedge of lime in her mouth. Take the lemon from Lips of Lady and suck. (The Lemon.....you pervert).

4. Some people who like close hugs can move forward from this point.

This cycle completes the so called body shot. Now being a novice at this I followed two steps diligently but for the third step I was just going to pull out the Lemon Wedge from her lips and she touched my lips with hers. I was taken aback, surprised at this and pulled myself off from this activity following the sense of official party.

As the party was in full blow, there comes another colleague of mine, who was quite interested in the HOT lady mentioned above. He started inquiring her about the body shots and so now they are experimenting in front of all colleagues. They had 5 Body Shots  and the last one was provoking for all of us with their lips locked and bodies held close. All laughing and partying (aroused) leave for the day.

Next day @office: 

The HOT lady is wearing a scarf around her neck, comes to my desk removing her scarf, and with a note of sexiness "Ash, see what has happened here" and I see a Red LOVE Bite over her neck (where continuously salt was sprinkled and licked) . 

I started laughing hysterically and said "So you are paid off for the desultory".

Her remark with a note of anxiety, fear and dilemma was, "My husband is gonna kill me, when he sees this", Another colleague aces her remark "Oh... he won't, if you are able to catch his LOVE Bites".

Leaving the post at this moment to let you imagine the expression over her face and will request to leave the comment that what expression you thought of.

Also for my alcohol lover friends : Wiki Body Shot