Friday, August 20, 2010

Rakhi-Brother



Nice topic ? Let's see. 
So I was in school  and as always in every story, there are girls so there were a few. Used to have lots of interaction with one of them. Had a huge crush on her, and one fine day she says with a stride of pride to other girls "Ashish is just like my younger brother". Can't tell how stung I was and almost on the verge of tears. Of-course it was one of those first crush who crushed me, but what the hell, is brother the only thing left in this universe? So the time was for a policy that "dude you are not supposed to make sis anywhere, just avoid it and run away from it".

There is a funny pledge which we recite at school; it has a line "All Indians are my brothers and sisters". Man whom you are going to marry? Someone not from India? We changed this line and tuned it to "All Indians are my brothers and YOUR sisters”:-P.

One fine day I was conversing with a junior of mine and she said about a particular guy that he is "Rakhi-Brother". Okay so you guys are not bonded by that thick blood lineage but there were similarities between you or you adored each other and were so much emotionally bonded that you thought to give the relationship a name. Kool, nothing bad about it. Appreciate your feelings and wish you a nice future.

This Rakhi-Brother was a rage when I was a student and I believe it is still a rage which came to my knowledge when I was talking to one of my cousin studying in 10th class (mentioned in the earlier blog).
An incident to share, there were Rakhi Bro-Sis in my school had a very congenial relationship and everyone thought about them as bro-sis. Now they are living happily as a married couple. So what was it?  I will not pass any judgment on this. Friendship/Bro-Sis/Love should be distinguishable. Friendship more or less can transform into love but Bro-Sis can not. Guys please don't be confused and if by any chance you are, please don't get into Rakhi relationship.
 
When my younger brother was in school and I realized that he is grown up, I thought to have conversation with him about the relationships. I put it boldly "Boss never make a sis in school". He asked me why ? I said this is the purest form of relationship and just for the rogue you should not do it, when you are not capable enough to carry the relationship for long-term. Also, once you are into this, there is a no way out. You have to carry this relationship with utmost sincerity and forever. He got the point and remained very judicious, there are times when he is not stupid and this was at-least one of them.

This reminded me of another guy. This guy was a very decent, witty and humorous. I met him first time when I came to join my first job. For the time being I will refer him as Mr. "H". So Mr. H was in desperate need of sis, even though he had 4 sis at home. He had sis in every corner of the country and he will just not stop having sisters. I was like dude, is this some kind of Ashwamedh Yagya that every part of the territory where you place your feet must be surrounded by your sisters. At workplace also he developed a bro-sis relationship with a girl and it was looking like his winning stride will not stop at all. One fine day, I just told him "You moron, don't you understand the seriousness of this relationship and do you have any idea about your ability of carrying this relationship?" Bingo - He got it, and this was the quickest when one can get  a reason. This guy aborted his Yagya at that very moment and since then he is maintaining the same count of sisters, so standard deviation must have been zero over the past 4 years, sorry mate I know you are reading this but you were an inspiration.
Also we used to call these kinds of guys as "Jagat Bhaiyya" later we shortened it to "Jags".
I think every now and then you come across "Jags". Please don't be one.

I know about the historical incidents when Krishna came to rescue Draupadi, or when Rani Karnavati just asked Humayun to help him against the invasion of Bahadur Shah, these were not the Blood Relations but they exemplified how holy a relationship can be. Will close with high regards and respect for this relationship and an advice that take due care and diligence when you are tying a thread as it is not a mere thread but a life long promise.

Anyways they say :
“A gentle heart is tied with an easy thread.”

Image courtesy : http://www.fotosearch.com/photos-images/rakshabandhan.html

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Teens!



Today is independence day of India. Am thinking what to post ? Lemme share a small anecdote with you.

Just like a month ago I made a trip to India. Took the only train between Delhi-Rewa and was sitting there quite peacefully. Front berth was occupied by a lady with her daughter. Lady was in mid-40's. Now I have got an acute habit of observing people so there I am pretending to read and observing them through corner of my eyes. So these are the facts which I collected after overhearing the conversations over lady's mobile. They were going for a marriage. The girl was the scholar of one of the prestigious boarding school at Gwalior. She was accompanying her mom to the marriage also, spending her summer vacations with family. All of a sudden there I see that the train took a halt and an arrow, out from nowhere, comes through the window and hits a Daddu kind of a person. When I look around, am at some High Valley amongst the mountains and there Daddu is lying in the pool of blood.

Ohh comeon guys was just messing with you to check if you are really reading this or not.

Anyways, so I kept on hearing the conversations while staring at my book. The lady was talking to her son, this guy is studying in Delhi and doing CA finals, I guess loads of work and night outs were hurting his mom, (That is how mothers are) so she was just asking him to take care of health and not to work hard. The conversation eventually went to the girl. Here the gentle mom was asking her son not to talk about "all this" to his sister as he may lose the respect of his sister if things comes out open. She was also emphasizing that she will take care and make her (the girl) understand. Also, that none of this was her fault it was all because of her some stupid friend who is into all this (why friends get blamed for every oddity as if the person in question is no-brainier). Now I was at-least able to understand the gist of the conversation. The girl who just moved into 10th standard perhaps was having affair with some guy. And that poor kid was caught by her parents.

 I have a cousin and she came to meet me during this vacation. Last when I saw her was like 3-4 years back. She moved to 10th standard and gosh she looks pretty and smart. I can clearly see the difference of her opinion on almost each and every thing which her parents tell her to do. I was just worried and afraid about her, so just spent time with her mostly listening to her and daily occurrence of issues which she faces. I came across the pressure about social stigmas these kids face.

Here onwards what I felt that there is HUGE generation gap. Right now this is generation Z+10th and evolving exponentially with respect to time. There are i-pods on the ears and fashion magazines in hand, those things which were like awed stuff during our time. So I was just thinking was it the girl's fault that she likes/loves someone ? She is just a kid and will go to someone who will shower her with emotions. At this time just I think that parents need to spend lots of time with their children. There are emotional needs of every child and when a child returns from a school or from a class he/she is sometimes excited,worried or in tears and, that child just needs to be heard by a patient ear. If YOU have not that patient ear you are losing him/her day by day, and you don't have the right of complaining, when someday your child surprises you by something clandestine. 
This may not be a reason always but I think that this is one of the primary reason.

There was a purpose when I was sharing this anecdote, is there an end ? Naah. Just I will like you to think and watch out for the troubled teens. If you think that there are any, just give sometime to them, try to understand their needs. Time has changed a lot and sometimes we really don't understand what is kool, what is not, OR what is Hap, and what is non-hap.

Just Keep an eye around and don't let teens be submerged, at-least Alice had a wonderland.

Signing Out! Ghost going for the sleep.

Image courtesy : http://www.corbisimages.com/Enlargement/42-16836626.html